The Quotes blog is back...and the link is right this time

My new Rants blog is up and running


Reading: just finished Anna Karenina by Tolstoy...on to Grimm's Fairytales
Singing: starting next week...Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

What's going on:


Sun 28th - church 10am, Matt time, Kohl's 4:30-9:30pCS

Mon 29th - Kohl's 10a-4pCS, ?

Tues 30th - Kohl's 6a-2:30pPC, Texas Roadhouse?, Joseph 6-9p, ?

Wed 31st - ?, bank meeting with Mere 4p?, Joseph 6-9p, ?

Thurs 1st - ?, Joseph 6-9p, ?

Fri 2nd - ?

Sat 3rd - ?, Kohl's 2-8:30pCS, ?

Sun 4th - Church 10:30a, ?

Mon 5th - Kohl's 6a-2:30pPC, ?, Joseph 7:30-10p, ?

Tues 6th - ?, Joseph 6:30-9, ?

Wed 7th - Kohl's 9a-4pCS, ?, Joseph 8-10p, ?

Thurs 8th - Kohl's 10a-5pCS, ? Joseph 8-10p, ?

Fri 9th - ?, Kohl's 5:30-10:30POS

Sat 10th - ?, Kohl's 2-10:30CS

Poems (the select few I'm OK with sharing):






9/16/04, excerpts from

It's taking away my voice and leaving my mind blank.

I want to disappear,

Bury my face in my hands and sink through the floor,

Curl into a ball and hide.

I want to pray...

My mind refuses to bend to my will.

I want to reach for my Book...

My feet stick to the floor.

I want to cry out, plead for help...

My jaw is set...





2/2/04

Come back,

Come back!

My wounds are not so deep

That I'd turn you away

When you bleed too.

You're drifting -

Drifting away from me.

I've never been a strong swimmer.

Currents I can't fight take us,

Pulling us apart.

These ripples in our lives

Undermine the foundation

That kept us close,

Slowly eating it out from underneath

Our shaking legs.

My friends,

Don't let us end

In this tide of heartache and uncertainty.

Too much past is behind us

To throw the future away

Without a fight.





12/29/03

Think of your world

As a big glass wall...

What would you do

When it crashes down?

The pieces are sharp,

They make you bleed,

And it mingles with the tears you shed

As you realize how long it will take

To rebuild the wall,

And how much blood will fall

Upon your shattered future.





12/4/03

Standing on a

Fencepost in my head,

I feel my feet slip

And my body sway.

The divide I straddle

Keeps sun-bright meadow

From chill black depths.

Will something push me over...

Pull me down?

When this precarious balance fails,

Where will I land?

I don't want to gasp for each breath,

Treading water

Above fathomless darkness,

A struggling speck

In a foaming sea.





11/6/03 2:15am

Not marching to the beat of any drum,

But walking softly as an orchestra resonates in a glowing chamber.

At times I pause

And sing.

Often the key is minor and my voice soft,

But when the music swells,

I can plant my feet and proclaim a song of joy.





9/21/03 1am

Curled in a ball,

I hug my knees to my chest

And sit alone on an island,

Watching the faces float past

In a vast tide around me.





9/8/03

The beauty rips the tears from your eyes

And flings them callously aside.

Perfect image before your eyes does not waver,

Grows only fuller in the waning light.

Only a single ray pierces the darkness inside.

You wish it would widen and fill you,

But the oppressive black crowds it,

Thick,

Inky;

The light struggles.

Will it win...

Or will the tears return to you this night?



8/16/03

Fragile,

Alone,

In dappled shade beneath a tree.

Vulnerable,

I looked for solitude

And found Grace.

I poured out my pain -

You poured out Your Love

As You poured out Your blood long ago

For me.

I wept and you filled my haunted eyes

With Joy.





8/2/03 12:20am

Fall again.

Drifting away from me...

Black tears flow slowly,

Mingling with the depths I stand watch over,

Fervently searching for signs of life,

Hating the ripples -

Illusory shadows of what once was you.

The shoreline is bleak when I must stand alone,

Chilled,

Clinging to shadows,

Waiting for another day.





6/28/03

Lost sight of the sun.

Strain feverishly towards the horizon,

Only to find no trace of light.

It will return.

The deluge which seems to persist indefinitely in beating down and darkening the sky

Will end.

To face into the wind whilst a cold rain penetrates

Grows tiresome,

Disheartening.

Chill mist,

Torrent

As the thunderhead builds and blackens the sky.

But the darkest clouds,

Most ferocious storms,

Run their course and cease.

The twilight world will recede and briliance burst forth,

Flooding the path trod for so long stumbling in darkness,

Head bowed,

Eyes stinging from the onslaught,

With light again.

Look up

And catch the bright arc of color

Above the drenched aftermath,

And watch the path dry.

Walk with springing step on firm ground

Where once dark pools obstructed the path.

The sun will shine again.





3/31/03

Images,

Burned in the back of my mind,

Beautiful,

Snapshots of nature at its best,

Glorious creations.

My fingers itch and I reach for the pencil.

But its strokes are timid where they should be bold

And stark where they should be soft.

I look at the 'finished work' and sigh.

My own incompetence serves as preventative.

The lines on the paper, smudged and blurred,

Fail to do justice.

The snapshots are missing some intangible thing

A photographer worthy of their taking would have captured.





3/27/03

I see myself as from afar,

Standing at the edge

As I scan the horizon.

Clouds roll in

But I stand,

Feet planted,

Face upturned,

Ready to meet the coming storm.

Waves begin to crash...

I feel them rumbling through my feet,

Shaking every tense muscle in my body

Up through the ancient rock of the precipice

Where I stand,

Waiting.

I will rejoice in the rain

Though it may sting my face,

Plaster my sodden clothing to my shivering body;

It is necessary,

Though the wind and rain may sap my strength,

I will not leave my ledge,

For it is safe,

And the storm will end.

The sun will shine and I will rest contently,

Watching the waes gently lap,

Crumbling the damp earth beneath my fingers,

And smiling at the promise the world holds.





3/18/03

I bow my head

And allow the music to carry my thoughts to God.

Then I know Peace.

The creases upon my brow smooth

As I slowly lift my head

And smile,

Eyes closed,

Alone with my prayer

Except for ht Lord,

Who hears me.