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The Quotes blog is back...and the link is right this time My new Rants blog is up and running
Reading: just finished Anna Karenina by Tolstoy...on to Grimm's Fairytales
Singing: starting next week...Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
What's going on:
Sun 28th - church 10am, Matt time, Kohl's 4:30-9:30pCS
Mon 29th - Kohl's 10a-4pCS, ?
Tues 30th - Kohl's 6a-2:30pPC, Texas Roadhouse?, Joseph 6-9p, ?
Wed 31st - ?, bank meeting with Mere 4p?, Joseph 6-9p, ?
Thurs 1st - ?, Joseph 6-9p, ?
Fri 2nd - ?
Sat 3rd - ?, Kohl's 2-8:30pCS, ?
Sun 4th - Church 10:30a, ?
Mon 5th - Kohl's 6a-2:30pPC, ?, Joseph 7:30-10p, ?
Tues 6th - ?, Joseph 6:30-9, ?
Wed 7th - Kohl's 9a-4pCS, ?, Joseph 8-10p, ?
Thurs 8th - Kohl's 10a-5pCS, ? Joseph 8-10p, ?
Fri 9th - ?, Kohl's 5:30-10:30POS
Sat 10th - ?, Kohl's 2-10:30CS
Poems (the select few I'm OK with sharing): 9/16/04, excerpts fromIt's taking away my voice and leaving my mind blank. I want to disappear, Bury my face in my hands and sink through the floor, Curl into a ball and hide. I want to pray... My mind refuses to bend to my will. I want to reach for my Book... My feet stick to the floor. I want to cry out, plead for help... My jaw is set... 2/2/04Come back, Come back! My wounds are not so deep That I'd turn you away When you bleed too. You're drifting - Drifting away from me. I've never been a strong swimmer. Currents I can't fight take us, Pulling us apart. These ripples in our lives Undermine the foundation That kept us close, Slowly eating it out from underneath Our shaking legs. My friends, Don't let us end In this tide of heartache and uncertainty. Too much past is behind us To throw the future away Without a fight. 12/29/03Think of your world As a big glass wall... What would you do When it crashes down? The pieces are sharp, They make you bleed, And it mingles with the tears you shed As you realize how long it will take To rebuild the wall, And how much blood will fall Upon your shattered future. 12/4/03Standing on a Fencepost in my head, I feel my feet slip And my body sway. The divide I straddle Keeps sun-bright meadow From chill black depths. Will something push me over... Pull me down? When this precarious balance fails, Where will I land? I don't want to gasp for each breath, Treading water Above fathomless darkness, A struggling speck In a foaming sea. 11/6/03 2:15amNot marching to the beat of any drum, But walking softly as an orchestra resonates in a glowing chamber. At times I pause And sing. Often the key is minor and my voice soft, But when the music swells, I can plant my feet and proclaim a song of joy. 9/21/03 1amCurled in a ball, I hug my knees to my chest And sit alone on an island, Watching the faces float past In a vast tide around me. 9/8/03The beauty rips the tears from your eyes And flings them callously aside. Perfect image before your eyes does not waver, Grows only fuller in the waning light. Only a single ray pierces the darkness inside. You wish it would widen and fill you, But the oppressive black crowds it, Thick, Inky; The light struggles. Will it win... Or will the tears return to you this night?
8/16/03
Fragile,
Alone,
In dappled shade beneath a tree.
Vulnerable,
I looked for solitude
And found Grace.
I poured out my pain -
You poured out Your Love
As You poured out Your blood long ago
For me.
I wept and you filled my haunted eyes
With Joy.
8/2/03 12:20am
Fall again.
Drifting away from me...
Black tears flow slowly,
Mingling with the depths I stand watch over,
Fervently searching for signs of life,
Hating the ripples -
Illusory shadows of what once was you.
The shoreline is bleak when I must stand alone,
Chilled,
Clinging to shadows,
Waiting for another day.
6/28/03
Lost sight of the sun.
Strain feverishly towards the horizon,
Only to find no trace of light.
It will return.
The deluge which seems to persist indefinitely in beating down and darkening the sky
Will end.
To face into the wind whilst a cold rain penetrates
Grows tiresome,
Disheartening.
Chill mist,
Torrent
As the thunderhead builds and blackens the sky.
But the darkest clouds,
Most ferocious storms,
Run their course and cease.
The twilight world will recede and briliance burst forth,
Flooding the path trod for so long stumbling in darkness,
Head bowed,
Eyes stinging from the onslaught,
With light again.
Look up
And catch the bright arc of color
Above the drenched aftermath,
And watch the path dry.
Walk with springing step on firm ground
Where once dark pools obstructed the path.
The sun will shine again.
3/31/03
Images,
Burned in the back of my mind,
Beautiful,
Snapshots of nature at its best,
Glorious creations.
My fingers itch and I reach for the pencil.
But its strokes are timid where they should be bold
And stark where they should be soft.
I look at the 'finished work' and sigh.
My own incompetence serves as preventative.
The lines on the paper, smudged and blurred,
Fail to do justice.
The snapshots are missing some intangible thing
A photographer worthy of their taking would have captured.
3/27/03
I see myself as from afar,
Standing at the edge
As I scan the horizon.
Clouds roll in
But I stand,
Feet planted,
Face upturned,
Ready to meet the coming storm.
Waves begin to crash...
I feel them rumbling through my feet,
Shaking every tense muscle in my body
Up through the ancient rock of the precipice
Where I stand,
Waiting.
I will rejoice in the rain
Though it may sting my face,
Plaster my sodden clothing to my shivering body;
It is necessary,
Though the wind and rain may sap my strength,
I will not leave my ledge,
For it is safe,
And the storm will end.
The sun will shine and I will rest contently,
Watching the waes gently lap,
Crumbling the damp earth beneath my fingers,
And smiling at the promise the world holds.
3/18/03
I bow my head
And allow the music to carry my thoughts to God.
Then I know Peace.
The creases upon my brow smooth
As I slowly lift my head
And smile,
Eyes closed,
Alone with my prayer
Except for ht Lord,
Who hears me.
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Saturday, April 22, 2006
Yes, I really do suck...at updating. Life flys by faster than I feel the need to tell people about it. So...I'll give y'all a brief recap of well...my life recently.
In the month of april, which it appears I have posted during yet at all...I have mostly been working on papers and working at Kohl's and spending what little free time I have with Matt. I take naps a lot too. Occasionally I get to see my friends back home on the weekend. Actually...for my sanity...I try to see at least one of you every weekend I'm home. It usually ends up being Holly or Jess...sometimes Laura if she's not working. I love you girls with all my heart. And I miss all y'all I don't get to see.
I think Easter weekend was the excitement of the month thus far. Friday was uneventful except for the fact that it was Matt's birthday. I worked a register until after 11. People are crazy for sales! Saturday I also did little beside work. I even stayed late to help my poor co-worker Sharon...because I like her and it was super messy. I ended up staying unitl 9:45 instead of 8:30. Then i ran to the ATM because I went out that night at midnight to celebrate my birthday.
That's right...I'm legal now. I feel old...like the last restriction of childhood has been lifted. Matt and I hung out for awhile and had an after-work snack at his house before heading downtown to Bazil's and meeting up with Jess, Holly & Alex, and eventually Nichole and Jon Westbrook. It made me feel special and like I have friends...which I do...don't get me wrong, it's just nice to feel like people like me. Amanda and Adrienne were supposed to come too but they're good techies and weren't finished strking for JCS until after 1am. That made me sad. Matt and I were the last of the group to leave and I hung out with him until almost 3a...but then I got sleepy.
I slept maybe 5hrs and headed back over to Matt's to go to church. His mom asked us to go with them to Christ the Rock. It was a good service and the music was great, but I missed how in-depth Calvary's studies are. They do have one thing on us though....bagpipes. No kidding, at the end of service a guy in full Scottish dress playing bagpipes came out. Well...after service we headed to the family party at the 'rents house. Arrived around 1...all the cuzzies were there. It was good. We had lots of great food and lots of great conversation, and plans for Cousin Day 2006 are in the works.
The rest of this week....meh. I've been up late pretty much every night cause I can't sleep. I wrote 4 pages of my Shakespeare paper Thursday night...until 3am. But my God! What kind of bird begins chirping at 3am?! I didn't fall asleep until almost 4.
Yesterday was a really good day, actually. The paper was done and turned in. I brought Matt lunch and went to a really short Choir class. We ran to the bank for me and Harris' for him. Then I got to take a nap...that I really needed. My parents came up at 4:30 and took us out to dinner at Bangkok Garden. It was so tasty. Then Matt headed home, as he had nothing appropriate to wear, and Mom and Dad and I went to the Union for the Sigma Tau Delta (English Honor Society) induction. It was really small. Profs Sutton and Hall and a girl I didn't know provided music and Prof Hall gave a speech. Somehow he managed to relate going out into the world for work, grad school, etc to an Icelandic folktale about a man becoming a troll. And he quoted Sam Gamgee at least twice. After the ceremony I saw my parents off, read Anna Karenina while blasting music for awhile, did laundry, cleaned my room (superficially...it still needs to be dusted and vaccuumed), and waited for Christina to get home. We went to Perkins around 1:30a and got back an hour later and fell into bed.
I just woke up at noon today. I was so exhausted. I needed it. Now I need to bathe and accomplish various and sundry other productive things before Matt comes up here at a yet-to-be-determined time. The Harris' Tournament is this weekend. Matt's competing in team sparring tonight, and possibly individual sparring tomorrow. I'm here to be supportive and Mrs. Harris said I could get in free if I helped run the time clock or keep score. So I'll be doing that all evening and most of tomorrow. If anyone would like to watch real live ninjas in action, competition starts at 6:30p tonight and 10:30a tomorrow...only $7...give a ring.
Posted at 12:20 pm by icantdance
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