The
Quotes blog is back...and the link is right this time
My new
Rants blog is up and running
Reading: just finished Anna Karenina by Tolstoy...on to Grimm's Fairytales
Singing: starting next week...Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
What's going on:
Sun 28th - church 10am, Matt time, Kohl's 4:30-9:30pCS
Mon 29th - Kohl's 10a-4pCS, ?
Tues 30th - Kohl's 6a-2:30pPC, Texas Roadhouse?, Joseph 6-9p, ?
Wed 31st - ?, bank meeting with Mere 4p?, Joseph 6-9p, ?
Thurs 1st - ?, Joseph 6-9p, ?
Fri 2nd - ?
Sat 3rd - ?, Kohl's 2-8:30pCS, ?
Sun 4th - Church 10:30a, ?
Mon 5th - Kohl's 6a-2:30pPC, ?, Joseph 7:30-10p, ?
Tues 6th - ?, Joseph 6:30-9, ?
Wed 7th - Kohl's 9a-4pCS, ?, Joseph 8-10p, ?
Thurs 8th - Kohl's 10a-5pCS, ? Joseph 8-10p, ?
Fri 9th - ?, Kohl's 5:30-10:30POS
Sat 10th - ?, Kohl's 2-10:30CS

Poems (the select few I'm OK with sharing):
9/16/04,
excerpts fromIt's taking away my voice and leaving my mind blank.
I want to disappear,
Bury my face in my hands and sink through the floor,
Curl into a ball and hide.
I want to pray...
My mind refuses to bend to my will.
I want to reach for my Book...
My feet stick to the floor.
I want to cry out, plead for help...
My jaw is set...
2/2/04Come back,
Come back!
My wounds are not so deep
That I'd turn you away
When you bleed too.
You're drifting -
Drifting away from me.
I've never been a strong swimmer.
Currents I can't fight take us,
Pulling us apart.
These ripples in our lives
Undermine the foundation
That kept us close,
Slowly eating it out from underneath
Our shaking legs.
My friends,
Don't let us end
In this tide of heartache and uncertainty.
Too much past is behind us
To throw the future away
Without a fight.
12/29/03Think of your world
As a big glass wall...
What would you do
When it crashes down?
The pieces are sharp,
They make you bleed,
And it mingles with the tears you shed
As you realize how long it will take
To rebuild the wall,
And how much blood will fall
Upon your shattered future.
12/4/03Standing on a
Fencepost in my head,
I feel my feet slip
And my body sway.
The divide I straddle
Keeps sun-bright meadow
From chill black depths.
Will something push me over...
Pull me down?
When this precarious balance fails,
Where will I land?
I don't want to gasp for each breath,
Treading water
Above fathomless darkness,
A struggling speck
In a foaming sea.
11/6/03 2:15amNot marching to the beat of any drum,
But walking softly as an orchestra resonates in a glowing chamber.
At times I pause
And sing.
Often the key is minor and my voice soft,
But when the music swells,
I can plant my feet and proclaim a song of joy.
9/21/03 1amCurled in a ball,
I hug my knees to my chest
And sit alone on an island,
Watching the faces float past
In a vast tide around me.
9/8/03The beauty rips the tears from your eyes
And flings them callously aside.
Perfect image before your eyes does not waver,
Grows only fuller in the waning light.
Only a single ray pierces the darkness inside.
You wish it would widen and fill you,
But the oppressive black crowds it,
Thick,
Inky;
The light struggles.
Will it win...
Or will the tears return to you this night?
8/16/03Fragile,
Alone,
In dappled shade beneath a tree.
Vulnerable,
I looked for solitude
And found Grace.
I poured out my pain -
You poured out Your Love
As You poured out Your blood long ago
For me.
I wept and you filled my haunted eyes
With Joy.
8/2/03 12:20amFall again.
Drifting away from me...
Black tears flow slowly,
Mingling with the depths I stand watch over,
Fervently searching for signs of life,
Hating the ripples -
Illusory shadows of what once was you.
The shoreline is bleak when I must stand alone,
Chilled,
Clinging to shadows,
Waiting for another day.
6/28/03Lost sight of the sun.
Strain feverishly towards the horizon,
Only to find no trace of light.
It will return.
The deluge which seems to persist indefinitely in beating down and darkening the sky
Will end.
To face into the wind whilst a cold rain penetrates
Grows tiresome,
Disheartening.
Chill mist,
Torrent
As the thunderhead builds and blackens the sky.
But the darkest clouds,
Most ferocious storms,
Run their course and cease.
The twilight world will recede and briliance burst forth,
Flooding the path trod for so long stumbling in darkness,
Head bowed,
Eyes stinging from the onslaught,
With light again.
Look up
And catch the bright arc of color
Above the drenched aftermath,
And watch the path dry.
Walk with springing step on firm ground
Where once dark pools obstructed the path.
The sun will shine again.
3/31/03Images,
Burned in the back of my mind,
Beautiful,
Snapshots of nature at its best,
Glorious creations.
My fingers itch and I reach for the pencil.
But its strokes are timid where they should be bold
And stark where they should be soft.
I look at the 'finished work' and sigh.
My own incompetence serves as preventative.
The lines on the paper, smudged and blurred,
Fail to do justice.
The snapshots are missing some intangible thing
A photographer worthy of their taking would have captured.
3/27/03I see myself as from afar,
Standing at the edge
As I scan the horizon.
Clouds roll in
But I stand,
Feet planted,
Face upturned,
Ready to meet the coming storm.
Waves begin to crash...
I feel them rumbling through my feet,
Shaking every tense muscle in my body
Up through the ancient rock of the precipice
Where I stand,
Waiting.
I will rejoice in the rain
Though it may sting my face,
Plaster my sodden clothing to my shivering body;
It is necessary,
Though the wind and rain may sap my strength,
I will not leave my ledge,
For it is safe,
And the storm will end.
The sun will shine and I will rest contently,
Watching the waes gently lap,
Crumbling the damp earth beneath my fingers,
And smiling at the promise the world holds.
3/18/03 I bow my head
And allow the music to carry my thoughts to God.
Then I know Peace.
The creases upon my brow smooth
As I slowly lift my head
And smile,
Eyes closed,
Alone with my prayer
Except for ht Lord,
Who hears me.